waking and sleeping
bringing rhythm to your family
Establishing a healthy rhythm takes discipline, consistency, and creativity on the part of the parent. Whether you have a rhythm that you wish to change or have no rhythm and are looking to implement one, it takes time and effort to adjust. Begin by working with sleep and waking times and the rest of the rhythm will follow.
Waking
Sleeping and waking are inherently connected. In the beginning, the key to a healthy bedtime is a good waking time. As you begin to adjust your day, you might see fit to waking your child a bit earlier to ensure that they naturally come to rest times when they are tired. A child who wakes late, naps late, and then sleeps late. In order to honor the age-old adage, ‘never wake a sleeping baby’, you can instead bring the day to them so that they wake up on their own. Go into their room, open the curtains to let in the sunlight, and make some gentle noise by singing a mourning song. You might have to do this several times at first. When your child begins to rise, greet them with a touch verse such as:
Good morning bright sun
(fan hands over your head in shape of sun)
Good morning sweet dew
(smooth hands over hair and down to toes)
Good morning dear one
(give toes a soft squeeze)
Good morning to you
(gently place hand over child’s heart)
Morning Ritual
Once your child is awake, usher them into the day with a beautiful ritual that includes washing them up and dressing them. It is a good habit practiced over much of the world, to wash the sleep away and welcome the day. Find a consistent place for this ritual. For an older child it can be in the washroom, but for a young child, you can do this on the floor in their room perhaps on a lambskin and incorporate a diaper change. Take a warm washcloth and wipe them beginning with their face in moon and sun shaped strokes gently wiping over their closed eyes:
Good night moon
Here comes sun
Close your eyes one last time
Peep, peep,
All done
Then, wipe their hands, brush older child’s teeth, wipe younger child’s gums, and dress them. Clothing should be selected the night before. Consider reciting a verse or a song for dressing to minimize the instruction giving. An older child can work at dressing him or herself. A clothing train is a sweet idea for a child who is learning to dress. Clothing can be laid out in the order and direction that they are to be put on to help the child along. Last, but not least, brush your child’s hair. It is a soothing, and very important part of getting ready for the day. To help your child ready their body, head to toe for the day stimulates their sense of warmth, their sense of touch, and their sense of life.
Bedtime
The rhythm of each day begins with sleep the night before. How we help our children into sleep is therefore, of utmost importance. Begin by making sure that children eat dinner early enough that they have at least a few hours between dinner and sleep for digestion, which can hinder good rest. Decide on a ritual that works for your family. After dinner, you might draw all the curtains, and dim all of the house lights to create a feeling of warmth and rest. It is a good idea to brush teeth right away, so that it doesn’t disrupt the calm after bath, especially for children who are resistant. Many families bathe their children every evening to help wash away the day. Baths often draw out the residual energy of the day and bring calm. They can be followed by a massage, dawning of pajamas, and hair brushing. Just as with the morning ritual, the location of these activities should be consistent. And just as in the morning, this nurturing from head to toe of the body is so healthy for the child as they enter sleep.
Sleep
As parents, our work is not to put our child to sleep, but to put them to bed so they can learn to fall asleep on their own. Once our children are washed and ready, we tuck them into bed. Any activities that follow this must maintain the mood of calmness and continue to help the child wind down. Many families read books at sleep time. If you choose this, limit the number of books to one or two and choose stories and illustrations that are soothing and non-interactive. For some children, books are over stimulating and invite too much interaction at bedtime, so consider not reading and rather, telling stories instead. The nourishment that a child draws from a told story at bedtime is invaluable. Not only is it an opportunity for a parent to share a piece of their own imagination or history, but it allows that child to enter their own imaginations and for their own pictures, which is a beautiful transition into a night of dreaming.